Anna, From the River
By
Sarah Farr
She would be arriving at 7pm. Nathaniel Rosenthal shook his head in disbelief. She was coming here, to spend time with him in his small flat lost in the huge tower block overlooking the wastelands of South London.
Fortunately, it was dark now, she wouldn’t see the dugout pits where the new luxurious impossible-to-afford flats will stand after completion, the darkness hides the defiant graffiti sprayed all along the high walls keeping out the displaced poor who once called this place home. She would see only the lights of capitalism and industry bathing the city in a red glow.
He’d spent three days tidying his flat concealing the eternal bachelor stench of microwaved meals, warm cans of beer, and the bitter tang of loneliness and discontent. He scrubbed like his mother used to do when she was alive and living here.
But now it was just him.
In a way it’s always been just him and although loneliness has never sat well with him, he’s gotten used to it over the years. At 47 he’s still waiting for his life to start; hope has faded but Anna has brought it back like spring breeze sifting through winter’s dead leaves on the forest floor.
It wasn’t anything specific that predicted his condemnation to an eternal bachelor, no major flaws stained his character. Simply, things had never happened for him. That was the nature of life.
Growing up he had his mother, she fell ill just after university when he turned 22 and for many years, he took care of her like any dutiful son would, but since she was gone to dust, he had no one. Struggling under the weight of grief he had forgotten to live.
Until Anna had woken him up.
Nathaniel had so much free time he didn’t know what to do with it so he would invent excuses to leave his flat, popping out for coffee and read his library book in the local café even though he had his own kettle and coffee jar back at home. He liked the feeling of others around him even though they were unreachable.
Sometimes he would say hello when he saw a woman who looked like she could be as kind as his dear old mum was and occasionally, they would say hello back. They’d sometimes ask him what he was reading but that was as far as it went.
He tried wearing different clothes in different styles, got his hair trimmed at the barbers, even wore expensive cologne but nothing worked. Most people his age were either married or too busy to be interested in him.
But then he met Anna in the coffee shop. It had taken him a while to realise she was staring directly at him, sitting very still in the corner dressed in an elegant black dress. How silly he was to have not noticed. Quickly he’d understood this hadn’t been her first time here, and she had been watching him for some time eager to strike up conversation, though he was sure he would have noticed her straight away.
The dazzling bejeweled sword sleeping in the depths of the guarded lake. He’d looked up smiled and went back to his book shaken by the strength of her image imprinted deep into his soul. She had carried on staring at him, not aggressively so, but in the gentlest way, peeling back his many layers.
When their eyes met again, she nodded as if to say that she could completely understand him and that he was very safe with her.
“I’m going to get another mint tea. Would you like one?” He’d asked. His fingers were too jittery for another coffee, not when there was great change afoot.
“That would be nice,” she had answered quietly in a delicate tone. Her voice just as beautiful.
When he returned, she sat at his table leafing through his book, the latest Mark Branning whodunnit. The afternoon had passed like gentle waves lapping at the shores of a peaceful glittering underground river.
“It seems silly to say this, but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life,” Nathaniel took her hand in his.
She simply nodded, “I have a prior engagement, but I promise you we’ll meet again.”
“How does 7pm sound?” The words came tumbling out. Before he had a chance to reconsider his most brazen approach she had already said yes.
#
When he opened the door to Anna, his body began to sing at the prospect of human warmth. All those years of feeling so alone were forgotten when she smiled at him as she crossed the threshold towards him. He took her long black coat and showed her through to the lounge illuminated by his mother’s old reading lamp.
He handed her a glass of Malbec as fear ran through him. What were they going to talk about? The flat suddenly felt very small and quiet, devoid of atmosphere and potential. If only he’d lived a full life.
“It’s ok, Nathaniel, the hardest part was letting me come over. I can take over now.” She placed her hand on his and beckoned him to sit beside her on the sofa.
Overcome and drained Nathaniel did as he was told, his tired heavy bones enjoying the respite as he took a big mouthful of wine to ease himself into their evening. “To be completely honest, I don’t usually do this sort of thing.”
“I know,” her words soothed him as he looked deep into her eyes taking him in. “It’s a shame we have to meet like this, but that’s just the way of things.”
“I’m sorry, I’m suddenly feeling very tired,” Nathaniel found he couldn’t get up from the sofa, it was much more comfortable to remain sitting as his head grew heavy and slumped backwards. “Would you like some food. I’ve made crab linguine.” He forced out a weak smile. 15 minutes ago, he had been so excited to eat it but now his appetite had completely gone.
“Tell me about your life, Nathaniel, I want to know everything that has happened since the moment you were born in St Thomas hospital.”
“I see,” But Nathaniel didn’t see.
However, as the minutes passed, more and more he felt like he had known Anna his whole life, she didn’t speak much but he knew she understood him. Why he’d never really gone for what he wanted in life, she understood why. His mother’s life had been spent caring for her son and in return he did the same for her.
As he spoke, a great sadness came over him, for he realized he had never really lived, not until now, he’d let the years slip by and now he was middle-aged, with grey at the sides and wrinkles creasing his eyes.
He felt so alive, realizing the magic in his veins. “But tomorrow, things are going to change. I’m going to book a holiday. I’ve never been abroad, but I’ve always wanted to go to South America. To see the parrots, the dancing, the rum shacks, those long white sandy beaches and the rainforest, I’m going to have the adventure of a lifetime.”
He felt a rush of adrenaline and bolted up remembering the food he’d prepared. It was almost midnight, and they had still not eaten. “Oh, I didn’t realise the time, you must be ever so hungry.”
“I don’t need food.”
“Another wine perhaps,” he offered, but when he looked to her hand, the glass she held was still full. She had not touched one drop of the expensive wine he’d bought from Waitrose. The large sprawling cheese plant to her right, which had sat in that corner for many years was now drooping yellow and lifeless on the floor. The portion of the sofa on which she sat had turned from teal to grey.
“Oh,” he said quietly.
Everything in his flat was turning grey, including him. But Anna sat unaffected in her sleek black dress. Her red heels shining like ruby slippers, her dark hair shining with radiance.
He was beginning to understand.
The answer slowly came to him as he fell quiet and stared into her warm dark brown eyes welcoming him in. He had never felt so connected to someone, this marking the most intimate moment of his life surpassing the three lovely years he spent with Emily when he briefly moved away to study Law at university.
“It’s you,” he whispered as coldness spread through him.
In a way she was all he had ever wanted. She was what he had been missing his whole life, what he had been searching for but never quite able to place words around it. He’d lost some part of himself the day he was born, and now she’d returned it to him.
Anna was the missing part of his story. She was the essence of what he had spent his whole life searching for. She makes him feel whole, and now he is complete.
Looking into her bottomless eyes, he was sure. “You complete me,” he sighed as his chest laboriously heaved. The clock ticked on.
Anna smiled back at him, but sadness overcame her.
They held hands and sat in silence like old friends enjoying the simple presence of one another after a lifetime of warm happy memories forged together.
Nathaniel continued, “You’ve come into my life and made me realise how precious life is. I saved everything for tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. How much freedom I had, even though I squandered it away waiting for a rainy day. I could have done anything; I could have been anyone I wanted.”
“I’m sorry Nathaniel, I wish it didn’t have to be today. If you had gone to the doctor six months ago you would never have met me. All that stress and worry has taken its toll.” She placed her hand over his heart.
“There’s many things I should have done,” he whispered as the lamp dimmed its light over him.
The flat fell silent, the pipes ceased their clanging the background noise of the flats above below and all around fell to nothing as they sat there at the end of it all.
“Until now, I’d always pictured Him, with his long-hooded cloak and sharpened scythe by his side, but it makes sense that it’s you Anna. Afterall it’s the women who bring forth life from their wombs, it seems fitting they are the ones to take back their babes. Where am I going Anna?”
She held on to his hand as he closed his eyes for the last time laying himself down as his heart began to shudder. Her duty fulfilled, she had to leave, she had many people to visit that night. “I only take you as far as the river, I do not go any further. I have no answers, but I can promise you one thing, it won’t be boring. Your new adventure awaits. We’ll go to the river together.”
Sarah Farr (she, her) who previously masqueraded as S.J.Budd is a writer from London. She has always been fascinated by anything out of the ordinary. Her debut novella, Enter the Darkness is out now from Brigid’s Gate Press. Her work has appeared in over twenty magazines and anthologies including, Brigid’s Gate Press, Creepy Podcast, Cemetery Gate’s Media, NoSleep Podcast and Tales to Terrify.
https://www.instagram.com/twilightcherries
By
Sarah Farr
She would be arriving at 7pm. Nathaniel Rosenthal shook his head in disbelief. She was coming here, to spend time with him in his small flat lost in the huge tower block overlooking the wastelands of South London.
Fortunately, it was dark now, she wouldn’t see the dugout pits where the new luxurious impossible-to-afford flats will stand after completion, the darkness hides the defiant graffiti sprayed all along the high walls keeping out the displaced poor who once called this place home. She would see only the lights of capitalism and industry bathing the city in a red glow.
He’d spent three days tidying his flat concealing the eternal bachelor stench of microwaved meals, warm cans of beer, and the bitter tang of loneliness and discontent. He scrubbed like his mother used to do when she was alive and living here.
But now it was just him.
In a way it’s always been just him and although loneliness has never sat well with him, he’s gotten used to it over the years. At 47 he’s still waiting for his life to start; hope has faded but Anna has brought it back like spring breeze sifting through winter’s dead leaves on the forest floor.
It wasn’t anything specific that predicted his condemnation to an eternal bachelor, no major flaws stained his character. Simply, things had never happened for him. That was the nature of life.
Growing up he had his mother, she fell ill just after university when he turned 22 and for many years, he took care of her like any dutiful son would, but since she was gone to dust, he had no one. Struggling under the weight of grief he had forgotten to live.
Until Anna had woken him up.
Nathaniel had so much free time he didn’t know what to do with it so he would invent excuses to leave his flat, popping out for coffee and read his library book in the local café even though he had his own kettle and coffee jar back at home. He liked the feeling of others around him even though they were unreachable.
Sometimes he would say hello when he saw a woman who looked like she could be as kind as his dear old mum was and occasionally, they would say hello back. They’d sometimes ask him what he was reading but that was as far as it went.
He tried wearing different clothes in different styles, got his hair trimmed at the barbers, even wore expensive cologne but nothing worked. Most people his age were either married or too busy to be interested in him.
But then he met Anna in the coffee shop. It had taken him a while to realise she was staring directly at him, sitting very still in the corner dressed in an elegant black dress. How silly he was to have not noticed. Quickly he’d understood this hadn’t been her first time here, and she had been watching him for some time eager to strike up conversation, though he was sure he would have noticed her straight away.
The dazzling bejeweled sword sleeping in the depths of the guarded lake. He’d looked up smiled and went back to his book shaken by the strength of her image imprinted deep into his soul. She had carried on staring at him, not aggressively so, but in the gentlest way, peeling back his many layers.
When their eyes met again, she nodded as if to say that she could completely understand him and that he was very safe with her.
“I’m going to get another mint tea. Would you like one?” He’d asked. His fingers were too jittery for another coffee, not when there was great change afoot.
“That would be nice,” she had answered quietly in a delicate tone. Her voice just as beautiful.
When he returned, she sat at his table leafing through his book, the latest Mark Branning whodunnit. The afternoon had passed like gentle waves lapping at the shores of a peaceful glittering underground river.
“It seems silly to say this, but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life,” Nathaniel took her hand in his.
She simply nodded, “I have a prior engagement, but I promise you we’ll meet again.”
“How does 7pm sound?” The words came tumbling out. Before he had a chance to reconsider his most brazen approach she had already said yes.
#
When he opened the door to Anna, his body began to sing at the prospect of human warmth. All those years of feeling so alone were forgotten when she smiled at him as she crossed the threshold towards him. He took her long black coat and showed her through to the lounge illuminated by his mother’s old reading lamp.
He handed her a glass of Malbec as fear ran through him. What were they going to talk about? The flat suddenly felt very small and quiet, devoid of atmosphere and potential. If only he’d lived a full life.
“It’s ok, Nathaniel, the hardest part was letting me come over. I can take over now.” She placed her hand on his and beckoned him to sit beside her on the sofa.
Overcome and drained Nathaniel did as he was told, his tired heavy bones enjoying the respite as he took a big mouthful of wine to ease himself into their evening. “To be completely honest, I don’t usually do this sort of thing.”
“I know,” her words soothed him as he looked deep into her eyes taking him in. “It’s a shame we have to meet like this, but that’s just the way of things.”
“I’m sorry, I’m suddenly feeling very tired,” Nathaniel found he couldn’t get up from the sofa, it was much more comfortable to remain sitting as his head grew heavy and slumped backwards. “Would you like some food. I’ve made crab linguine.” He forced out a weak smile. 15 minutes ago, he had been so excited to eat it but now his appetite had completely gone.
“Tell me about your life, Nathaniel, I want to know everything that has happened since the moment you were born in St Thomas hospital.”
“I see,” But Nathaniel didn’t see.
However, as the minutes passed, more and more he felt like he had known Anna his whole life, she didn’t speak much but he knew she understood him. Why he’d never really gone for what he wanted in life, she understood why. His mother’s life had been spent caring for her son and in return he did the same for her.
As he spoke, a great sadness came over him, for he realized he had never really lived, not until now, he’d let the years slip by and now he was middle-aged, with grey at the sides and wrinkles creasing his eyes.
He felt so alive, realizing the magic in his veins. “But tomorrow, things are going to change. I’m going to book a holiday. I’ve never been abroad, but I’ve always wanted to go to South America. To see the parrots, the dancing, the rum shacks, those long white sandy beaches and the rainforest, I’m going to have the adventure of a lifetime.”
He felt a rush of adrenaline and bolted up remembering the food he’d prepared. It was almost midnight, and they had still not eaten. “Oh, I didn’t realise the time, you must be ever so hungry.”
“I don’t need food.”
“Another wine perhaps,” he offered, but when he looked to her hand, the glass she held was still full. She had not touched one drop of the expensive wine he’d bought from Waitrose. The large sprawling cheese plant to her right, which had sat in that corner for many years was now drooping yellow and lifeless on the floor. The portion of the sofa on which she sat had turned from teal to grey.
“Oh,” he said quietly.
Everything in his flat was turning grey, including him. But Anna sat unaffected in her sleek black dress. Her red heels shining like ruby slippers, her dark hair shining with radiance.
He was beginning to understand.
The answer slowly came to him as he fell quiet and stared into her warm dark brown eyes welcoming him in. He had never felt so connected to someone, this marking the most intimate moment of his life surpassing the three lovely years he spent with Emily when he briefly moved away to study Law at university.
“It’s you,” he whispered as coldness spread through him.
In a way she was all he had ever wanted. She was what he had been missing his whole life, what he had been searching for but never quite able to place words around it. He’d lost some part of himself the day he was born, and now she’d returned it to him.
Anna was the missing part of his story. She was the essence of what he had spent his whole life searching for. She makes him feel whole, and now he is complete.
Looking into her bottomless eyes, he was sure. “You complete me,” he sighed as his chest laboriously heaved. The clock ticked on.
Anna smiled back at him, but sadness overcame her.
They held hands and sat in silence like old friends enjoying the simple presence of one another after a lifetime of warm happy memories forged together.
Nathaniel continued, “You’ve come into my life and made me realise how precious life is. I saved everything for tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. How much freedom I had, even though I squandered it away waiting for a rainy day. I could have done anything; I could have been anyone I wanted.”
“I’m sorry Nathaniel, I wish it didn’t have to be today. If you had gone to the doctor six months ago you would never have met me. All that stress and worry has taken its toll.” She placed her hand over his heart.
“There’s many things I should have done,” he whispered as the lamp dimmed its light over him.
The flat fell silent, the pipes ceased their clanging the background noise of the flats above below and all around fell to nothing as they sat there at the end of it all.
“Until now, I’d always pictured Him, with his long-hooded cloak and sharpened scythe by his side, but it makes sense that it’s you Anna. Afterall it’s the women who bring forth life from their wombs, it seems fitting they are the ones to take back their babes. Where am I going Anna?”
She held on to his hand as he closed his eyes for the last time laying himself down as his heart began to shudder. Her duty fulfilled, she had to leave, she had many people to visit that night. “I only take you as far as the river, I do not go any further. I have no answers, but I can promise you one thing, it won’t be boring. Your new adventure awaits. We’ll go to the river together.”
Sarah Farr (she, her) who previously masqueraded as S.J.Budd is a writer from London. She has always been fascinated by anything out of the ordinary. Her debut novella, Enter the Darkness is out now from Brigid’s Gate Press. Her work has appeared in over twenty magazines and anthologies including, Brigid’s Gate Press, Creepy Podcast, Cemetery Gate’s Media, NoSleep Podcast and Tales to Terrify.
https://www.instagram.com/twilightcherries
