An Empty Mind
By
M.G. Webster
I was supposed to be there, not... him. He sat on a chair that wasn't his, in a house he never bought. Fidgety, he observed the mosquitoes circling the lone light in a house that was already resting. The same insects, driven only by instincts, ignored him. After all, they were attracted to light, weren't they?
The last few days were confusing enough, and when I got home, I observed this entity that had taken my place. The clone's purpose was clear: stealing my identity. Kissing my wife. Hugging my kids. "How are you, Larry?" He would respond stuttering, as if not yet accustomed to the body he stole. And although his thieving ways had fooled those I loved, which upset me, something wasn't right.
Introspective moments are what allows us to see ourselves the way we think we are. We're bound, of course, by the restriction of our own perception. What if, though, you could see yourself through the lens of others? How would this situation mess with one's brain?
The more I observed him, the more I realized who I truly was. He would often find himself stargazing during the wee hours, something I never found the time to do, even though, when I was a kid, I loved the cosmos. It frightened me to think that, in terms of authenticity, I was fighting against myself, and losing. That fear suddenly disappeared as soon as I caught him one fateful night when the family had gone away.
In the bushes, I hid. For some reason, he turned off all the lights in the house and went to the balcony, an uncontrollable laugh taking over him. He blended screams between the laughs as if there was a child inside him wanting out. Snap! His neck elongated like a selfie stick. Dangling like bait on a fishing rod, his head arced, moving from side to side like a metronome. Without warning, the creature gave in to the silence of the night and stopped, just like that.
I watched him in horror. From then on, every night he would repeat the ritual. What the hell is happening? I wondered, hoping to find an answer but fearing what it might mean. Gathering my courage, I sat in a bush, determined that this would be the day I would take control of my life again.
Thump-Thump! I felt a sharp headache, my brain throbbing against my head as if it wanted to come out. In agony, I remained silent as I waited for the pain to subside. Was it the lack of water that caused this? I considered possible answers, but understood that I wouldn't reach a conclusion without medical evaluation. I stood up, perhaps stronger than before, and continued to observe the disgusting creature lying face down on my balcony.
Concentrated, I then heard something. Creek! I instinctively looked back. I scanned the forest around me for an explanation. Am I hearing things? I swore I could've seen something, maybe an outline... Still frightened, I failed to realize that my sudden movements had also caused noise. When I returned my gaze to the balcony, I found it empty. The creature heard me. My heart sank as I quickly looked at the windows. With a lucky glance, I noticed a shape behind one of them; a man staring at me. Like an insect, his gaze was piercing and constant. I stared back, as if we were fighting for territory. After a few moments, he disappeared into the shadows of the house he robbed, and I sighed with relief; at least I was alone.
Mustering the courage, I grabbed my hammer and snuck into the house, using the back door. Careful enough not to stumble into any furniture on the way, I go up the stairs.
With the sky overcast, not even the moonlight dared illuminate these steps. It was as if the sky itself was afraid to witness this event... I had a silly thought as I slowly climbed the stairs, the rough texture of the hammer's handle in contact with my cold hands. Am I doing the right thing? I hesitated slightly as other options came to mind. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get my life back. I felt justified in removing another evil from the world. That... thing, there was no process behind its responses, almost like a philosophical zombie.
Breaking the silence, I heard water running from the bathroom faucet. I look to my left and see the lights on. This has to be a trap. I'm not stupid. First, hammer in hand, ready to swing, I scan the rooms to the right. This time, however, I hear someone humming inside the bathroom, followed by a light squeak. I can't believe it... I approach the half-open door and watch a version of myself brushing his teeth while looking at himself in the mirror. With a nervous smile and a deep sigh, I appear through the crack. He screams.
"What the..." His brush falls to the floor, his mouth still foaming as if he had rabies, "What the hell? L-Look, it doesn't have to be like this! We can switch places once a week, okay? I-I can stay in the basement, or maybe in the attic! Wait, I feel him inside you as well. Don't listen to the doctor, I found a way to undermine it. Let me live and I'll tell you, what do you think?"
At the same time, the intense headache came back, but instead of suppressing it, I let it course through my veins. As it does, the pain consumes me, followed by an absolute comfort. In elation, I stop worrying about what's happening around me as the hammer falls out onto the floor and I close my eyes. A muffled scream followed by silence. Then, I feel something sliding down my throat. The gelatinous texture of the objects touched my tongue, though some were rough and resistant. The latter, in particular, tasted like milk. I ignored it as something else captured my attention; from the hallway, a door opening could be heard.
I satisfied my needs as the headache returned and suddenly disappeared again. Opening my eyes, I realized my shirt and face were bloody. What have I done? I think to myself. Was the pain doing all that?
"...Love?" A tired voice sounds from behind the door, "What are you doing here this time of night?"
"M-My nose is... bleeding!" I replied with the first thing that came to mind, "It's just that, no need to worry. J-Just go back to bed, honey."
"But again?" She asked worriedly, "For weeks now you've been having these... Check this out as soon as you get that new health insurance, okay?"
I nodded as I waited for her to return. The job was done; my monstrous clone was dead. I returned to the balcony and turned on the lights. I spent the rest of the night stargazing. So beautiful and intimate. Thoughts like this would occasionally appear, intruding. Almost as if they weren't mine to begin with.
Days passed as I resumed my life as normal. I emptied my mind in regards to the impostor. I killed it with my own hands. Strangely enough, though, since he was gone, the headache only seemed to get worse, as if my defenses had given up. Besides, I was always missing something and sometimes I'd wake up in the bushes. Was I going crazy? Has the clone messed with my mind? Maybe I’m getting old… But the last time I went to a doctor’s appointment, things didn’t end well.
One night, while on the porch, I heard something in the bush. A fallen branch? Maybe the neighbor's cat, lost in the woods again? Nothing like that. It was another one. Another version of me. I let the pain take over and soon realize it was an illusion, because there was no way another one of them could exist. I climbed upstairs and once more knelt before the pain, because of course I must be seeing things. I brushed my teeth and, this time, I contained the agony. It didn’t define me. As I looked in the mirror, I smiled. Even though the entity copied me, it still couldn't fully replicate who I was. I heard footsteps in the hallway. Who else could it be, if not myself?
M.G. Webster is an emerging writer who shares an immense passion for the strange and the unknown. Residing in the eccentric lands of Brazil, he spends his time working on a debut novel and consuming all kinds of art. He also likes to play the guitar.
By
M.G. Webster
I was supposed to be there, not... him. He sat on a chair that wasn't his, in a house he never bought. Fidgety, he observed the mosquitoes circling the lone light in a house that was already resting. The same insects, driven only by instincts, ignored him. After all, they were attracted to light, weren't they?
The last few days were confusing enough, and when I got home, I observed this entity that had taken my place. The clone's purpose was clear: stealing my identity. Kissing my wife. Hugging my kids. "How are you, Larry?" He would respond stuttering, as if not yet accustomed to the body he stole. And although his thieving ways had fooled those I loved, which upset me, something wasn't right.
Introspective moments are what allows us to see ourselves the way we think we are. We're bound, of course, by the restriction of our own perception. What if, though, you could see yourself through the lens of others? How would this situation mess with one's brain?
The more I observed him, the more I realized who I truly was. He would often find himself stargazing during the wee hours, something I never found the time to do, even though, when I was a kid, I loved the cosmos. It frightened me to think that, in terms of authenticity, I was fighting against myself, and losing. That fear suddenly disappeared as soon as I caught him one fateful night when the family had gone away.
In the bushes, I hid. For some reason, he turned off all the lights in the house and went to the balcony, an uncontrollable laugh taking over him. He blended screams between the laughs as if there was a child inside him wanting out. Snap! His neck elongated like a selfie stick. Dangling like bait on a fishing rod, his head arced, moving from side to side like a metronome. Without warning, the creature gave in to the silence of the night and stopped, just like that.
I watched him in horror. From then on, every night he would repeat the ritual. What the hell is happening? I wondered, hoping to find an answer but fearing what it might mean. Gathering my courage, I sat in a bush, determined that this would be the day I would take control of my life again.
Thump-Thump! I felt a sharp headache, my brain throbbing against my head as if it wanted to come out. In agony, I remained silent as I waited for the pain to subside. Was it the lack of water that caused this? I considered possible answers, but understood that I wouldn't reach a conclusion without medical evaluation. I stood up, perhaps stronger than before, and continued to observe the disgusting creature lying face down on my balcony.
Concentrated, I then heard something. Creek! I instinctively looked back. I scanned the forest around me for an explanation. Am I hearing things? I swore I could've seen something, maybe an outline... Still frightened, I failed to realize that my sudden movements had also caused noise. When I returned my gaze to the balcony, I found it empty. The creature heard me. My heart sank as I quickly looked at the windows. With a lucky glance, I noticed a shape behind one of them; a man staring at me. Like an insect, his gaze was piercing and constant. I stared back, as if we were fighting for territory. After a few moments, he disappeared into the shadows of the house he robbed, and I sighed with relief; at least I was alone.
Mustering the courage, I grabbed my hammer and snuck into the house, using the back door. Careful enough not to stumble into any furniture on the way, I go up the stairs.
With the sky overcast, not even the moonlight dared illuminate these steps. It was as if the sky itself was afraid to witness this event... I had a silly thought as I slowly climbed the stairs, the rough texture of the hammer's handle in contact with my cold hands. Am I doing the right thing? I hesitated slightly as other options came to mind. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get my life back. I felt justified in removing another evil from the world. That... thing, there was no process behind its responses, almost like a philosophical zombie.
Breaking the silence, I heard water running from the bathroom faucet. I look to my left and see the lights on. This has to be a trap. I'm not stupid. First, hammer in hand, ready to swing, I scan the rooms to the right. This time, however, I hear someone humming inside the bathroom, followed by a light squeak. I can't believe it... I approach the half-open door and watch a version of myself brushing his teeth while looking at himself in the mirror. With a nervous smile and a deep sigh, I appear through the crack. He screams.
"What the..." His brush falls to the floor, his mouth still foaming as if he had rabies, "What the hell? L-Look, it doesn't have to be like this! We can switch places once a week, okay? I-I can stay in the basement, or maybe in the attic! Wait, I feel him inside you as well. Don't listen to the doctor, I found a way to undermine it. Let me live and I'll tell you, what do you think?"
At the same time, the intense headache came back, but instead of suppressing it, I let it course through my veins. As it does, the pain consumes me, followed by an absolute comfort. In elation, I stop worrying about what's happening around me as the hammer falls out onto the floor and I close my eyes. A muffled scream followed by silence. Then, I feel something sliding down my throat. The gelatinous texture of the objects touched my tongue, though some were rough and resistant. The latter, in particular, tasted like milk. I ignored it as something else captured my attention; from the hallway, a door opening could be heard.
I satisfied my needs as the headache returned and suddenly disappeared again. Opening my eyes, I realized my shirt and face were bloody. What have I done? I think to myself. Was the pain doing all that?
"...Love?" A tired voice sounds from behind the door, "What are you doing here this time of night?"
"M-My nose is... bleeding!" I replied with the first thing that came to mind, "It's just that, no need to worry. J-Just go back to bed, honey."
"But again?" She asked worriedly, "For weeks now you've been having these... Check this out as soon as you get that new health insurance, okay?"
I nodded as I waited for her to return. The job was done; my monstrous clone was dead. I returned to the balcony and turned on the lights. I spent the rest of the night stargazing. So beautiful and intimate. Thoughts like this would occasionally appear, intruding. Almost as if they weren't mine to begin with.
Days passed as I resumed my life as normal. I emptied my mind in regards to the impostor. I killed it with my own hands. Strangely enough, though, since he was gone, the headache only seemed to get worse, as if my defenses had given up. Besides, I was always missing something and sometimes I'd wake up in the bushes. Was I going crazy? Has the clone messed with my mind? Maybe I’m getting old… But the last time I went to a doctor’s appointment, things didn’t end well.
One night, while on the porch, I heard something in the bush. A fallen branch? Maybe the neighbor's cat, lost in the woods again? Nothing like that. It was another one. Another version of me. I let the pain take over and soon realize it was an illusion, because there was no way another one of them could exist. I climbed upstairs and once more knelt before the pain, because of course I must be seeing things. I brushed my teeth and, this time, I contained the agony. It didn’t define me. As I looked in the mirror, I smiled. Even though the entity copied me, it still couldn't fully replicate who I was. I heard footsteps in the hallway. Who else could it be, if not myself?
M.G. Webster is an emerging writer who shares an immense passion for the strange and the unknown. Residing in the eccentric lands of Brazil, he spends his time working on a debut novel and consuming all kinds of art. He also likes to play the guitar.
